Special Dispensation

They’re traumatized. My voices, that is. They’re traumatized by my living, I guess. They harass each other. This time it is because I quit my meds. My voices actually want me on my meds. Things go smoother then.

I don’t hear them in pain, or when they are suffering.  They go quiet. It is quiet tonight, so maybe something is wrong, I think? What a weird world my head has become. Spirits fighting spirits. I’ve actually gotten used to them.

I have a steady, “home group” of voices, then they switch out throughout the day. They come to visit me, and nighttime is the best time. Often the most active. My energy has been so low, though, hence me going off my meds.

I’m going off my meds for bipolar because they weren’t working. I would feel depressed all morning then manic and anxious at night. Off the meds, I feel a steady state. Figure that one out. Meds sometimes just stop working, or cause bad side effects, sometimes the very thing they are purported to treat.

When things are good, I have good voices. I’m lucky in that way, and that may be my only form of luck. I’m staying on my anti-psychotic because I have learned (now) that leads to nothing good. Ever.

Let me know your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s