2015 was a good year in some ways, and not so hot in others. In 2015 I saw a new diagnosis and with it, a new set of medications that actually help. I’ve been diagnosed as Bipolar I Affective disorder, which (for me) looks like a series of psychotic breaks with mania: delusions, hallucinations, disorientation. Although the medicines haven’t touched the audibles (note: auditory hallucinations) the Pop! Pop! Pop! of psychosis — which is the most destructive — has been allayed, so I’ve felt a sort of stability only hearing and not being driven mad by the intensity of sudden and frequent breaks from reality.
I closed my Twitter account because the voices are more conversational now, telling stories and figuring out mysteries, in a manner that isn’t really conducive to convey as a string of single tweets. Tweeting what I heard was helpful for me at a time in my life, and for those who were reading me, i think it helped them understand, too, that hearing hallucinations is different than they’ve expected – even the seasoned veteran doctors signed on to see and “hear” my tweets. I thank you for that.
I haven’t worked since March or April of 2014 and I haven’t been writing, here or otherwise. It’s a good habit that has fallen by the wayside that I think I’ll pick up again in the coming year. Retiring this blog has been a thought of mine on more than one occasion, but there is so much of me and so much information I would hate to idle. This year may see additional posts here. I am also thinking of starting a new blog about my meditative and spiritual interests.
Finally, I think I am going to give up my formal domain and simply use the free offering here on WordPress, because It seems I never have enough money when domain registration comes around, leaving my blog locked in limbo for a while. I hate that.
I don’t know. It is a lot of random thoughts of my trying to sort and organize through the past year and this outward-facing material representation of where I am, this blog that has been with me through critical times in my life, helping me to capture and track some weird, terrifying, strange, and wonderful experiences. Plan to see more of me this year.
For now: Ta Ta and welcome to the New Year!