I am working again and all is going well, though I am not fully myself yet. My confidence, especially, has been hit hard and it shows in my actions. Timidity and nervousness are now my primary modes of operation and when my boss locks my co-horts and me in his office for the morning round table, there’s always panic attack in the wings.
My concentration levels are down as well. A full-time job in the technical field is demanding and it takes everything I have to make it through the work week. I come home exhausted and never seem to catch my second wind like I used to before the schizophrenia. Thus, I feel the latter part of my day is often wasted as I don’t have the motivation to do anything meaningful and it is too early to go to bed.
I enjoy mornings the most, when I can sit and focus. I spend the early hours reading or writing and working toward my goals.