Thinking About Homelessness

Homelessness is not something I ever want to experience again. Now I spend a lot of time planning what I would do if I were to find myself in the same situation.

I am surviving on a full-time living stipend through AmeriCorps. In exchange for 35 hours of my week, I get $800. This, combined with loans from graduate school have kept me afloat. I, however, don’t want to be further in debt and am dropping out of academics in favor of a more manageable future (I hope). This, however, creates a predicament: that small stipend is not enough to pay both my rent and my auto payment. If I don’t get a job soon, I will have to choose one above the other. I am already one month behind on the car note.

Since my family is also in dire straits from the economy, there are no other support options for me. My oldest brother, Scott, and his three kids are living with my mother in her two bedroom apartment. This is where my other brother, Matt, and I were living before we got our current place. Seven people in a 1200 sq ft apartment with psychosis proved unmanageable for me.

Living in Colorado there are plenty of campgrounds. Come winter, the prospects are more dismal. I have about 30 days to pull a rabbit out of the hat.

2 thoughts on “Thinking About Homelessness

  1. I am so sorry! I have little social support as well. It really makes the World a cold place. With that said, I am sure your family does love you. Although a brother of mine disowned me for a period, I knew that it was out of pain that he could not face the reality of my disease and drop from grace.

    I hate this disease of schizophrenia/schizoaffective. By the way, I noticed your writing about PTSD. I have been diagnosed with combat PTSD, Gulf War Syndrome, bipolar I, and major depressive episodes as well. Nope, I am not wallowing in mental illness. I would much rather be “normal” and only experience brief moments of depression, etc. I desperately want to work.


    1. I’ve mentioned this to a few people, but I’ve found trauma counseling very helpful. Anything with action-based and solution-oriented goals may help you pull through the worst of it.


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