I am tired of being broke. I am tired of my living situation and my financial situation. I would leave town if I had the money, if I had somewhere to go. I am tired of not having my own computer, my own apartment, my own sheets and pillows, my desk… hell, I miss my lighting. My stuff is getting destroyed sitting in storage and everything I worked so hard to achieve these past few years has been flushed down the toilet in under ten minutes. I seriously feel I will never recover.
The remains of my former life — coffee, cigarettes, and Daisy. I keep buying higher-grade coffee as a form of commiseration, a consolation.
And the anger, I don’t feel it. I need something I feel passionate about to pull me through this, something I care about, something that gives me hope and strength — a specific motivator. Cohesion.